be as clear as vodkabe as clever as a wagonload of monkeysbe as clever as they comebe as close as two coats of paintbe as close as waxbe as cocky as the king of spadesbe as cold as a stonebe as cold as a wagon tirebe as cold as a well digger's arsebe as cold as a well digger's ass in januarybe as cold as a well digger's feet in januarybe as cold as a witch's caressbe as cold as a witch's kissbe as cold as a witch's teatbe as cold as a witch's titbe as cold as any stonebe as cold as charitybe as cold as icebe as cold as marblebe as cold as stonebe as comfortable as an old shoebe as common as an old shoebe as common as dirtbe as common as muckbe as common as pig tracksbe as conceited as a barber's catbe as cool as a cucumberbe as cool as cucumberbe as cool as icebe as cool as the other side of the pillowbe as crafty as a foxbe as crazy as a bedbugbe as crazy as a betsy bugbe as crazy as a cootbe as crazy as a loonbe as crazy as a peach orchard boarbe as crazy as a shithouse ratbe as crazy as a soup sandwichbe as crazy rich etc as they comebe as crooked as a barrel of fish hooksbe as crooked as a dog's hind legbe as crooked as a fish hookbe as cross as a bearbe as cross as a bear with a sore headbe as cross as a frog in a sockbe as cunning as a dunny ratbe as cunning as a foxbe as cute as a bug's earbe as cute as a buttonbe as cute as a speckled pup