be as dry as a chipbe as dry as a dead dingo's dongerbe as dry as a desertbe as dry as a nun's cuntbe as dry as a nun's nastybe as dry as a pommy's bath towelbe as dry as dustbe as dull as dishwaterbe as dull as ditchwaterbe as dumb as a bag of hammersbe as dumb as a bag of rocksbe as dumb as a box of rocksbe as dumb as a brickbe as dumb as a coal bucketbe as dumb as a doorknobbe as dumb as a doornailbe as dumb as a fencepostbe as dumb as a postbe as dumb as a rockbe as dumb as a sack of hammersbe as dumb as a stumpbe as dumb as an oxbe as easy as abcbe as easy as anythingbe as easy as apple piebe as easy as cakebe as easy as child's playbe as easy as duck soupbe as easy as falling off a logbe as easy as one two threebe as easy as piebe as easy as rolling off a logbe as easy as shelling peasbe as easy as shooting fish in a barrelbe as easy as taking candy from a babybe as easy as winkingbe as empty as a pauper's pursebe as english as apple piebe as exciting as watching paint drybe as far as possiblebe as fast as greased lightningbe as fast as lightningbe as fat as a beached whalebe as fat as a housebe as fat as a pigbe as fertile as a turtlebe as fine as a frog's hair split four waysbe as fine as a frog's hair split three waysbe as fine as dick's hatbandbe as fine as frog fuzz