WEBVTT FILE 1 00:00:00.370 --> 00:00:05.790 Vanessa: Hi, I'm Vanessa from the website, SpeakEnglishWithVanessa.com. 2 00:00:05.790 --> 00:00:13.769 Welcome to the sample conversation video lesson from the course The Fearless Fluency Club. 3 00:00:13.769 --> 00:00:21.570 In this video, you'll see myself and my sister Cherise having a conversation, a natural, 4 00:00:21.570 --> 00:00:25.960 real conversation about reverse culture shock. 5 00:00:25.960 --> 00:00:29.050 If you don't know what this term is, watch the video. 6 00:00:29.050 --> 00:00:35.010 If you'd like to hear natural conversations, I'm sure you'll enjoy it, and to analyze and 7 00:00:35.010 --> 00:00:41.560 learn about the vocabulary, the grammar, the pronunciation that we use in this video, make 8 00:00:41.560 --> 00:00:45.559 sure that you watch the other videos in this series. 9 00:00:45.559 --> 00:00:51.110 That way you can more completely and fully understand the conversation and use the English 10 00:00:51.110 --> 00:00:52.120 yourself. 11 00:00:52.120 --> 00:00:57.679 To join The Fearless Fluency Club, you can click the link here in the description or 12 00:00:57.679 --> 00:01:00.989 up here at the top, the little I in the corner. 13 00:01:00.989 --> 00:01:04.339 Thanks so much and let's get started. 14 00:01:04.339 --> 00:01:08.459 Hi everyone. 15 00:01:08.459 --> 00:01:10.799 I want to introduce you to my sister, Charisse. 16 00:01:10.800 --> 00:01:12.280 Charisse: Hi everyone. 17 00:01:12.280 --> 00:01:18.970 Vanessa: Today we're going to talk about a cool topic, reverse culture shock, but first 18 00:01:18.970 --> 00:01:23.120 I want to introduce my sister, because you probably don't know her. 19 00:01:23.120 --> 00:01:27.929 Can you tell us first a little bit about where you've lived or different countries you've 20 00:01:27.930 --> 00:01:28.930 lived in? 21 00:01:28.930 --> 00:01:29.930 Cherise: Yeah, sure. 22 00:01:29.930 --> 00:01:30.930 Well, I lived in France. 23 00:01:30.930 --> 00:01:33.970 I lived in Argentina, and I recently returned from South Korea. 24 00:01:33.970 --> 00:01:35.340 Vanessa: Cool, cool. 25 00:01:35.340 --> 00:01:37.180 What were you doing in France? 26 00:01:37.180 --> 00:01:40.340 Cherise: In France, I was an au pair. 27 00:01:40.340 --> 00:01:44.100 In Argentina, I had multiple jobs actually. 28 00:01:44.100 --> 00:01:51.250 First, I worked at a volunteer organization, then I taught English, every odd job. 29 00:01:51.250 --> 00:01:55.190 Then, I moved directly to South Korea, where I also taught English. 30 00:01:55.190 --> 00:01:59.000 Vanessa: Yeah, so you're also an English teacher or yo used to be an English teacher. 31 00:01:59.000 --> 00:02:00.000 That's really cool. 32 00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:01.290 We have something in common. 33 00:02:01.290 --> 00:02:02.290 Cherise: Yeah. 34 00:02:02.290 --> 00:02:03.290 Yeah, we do. 35 00:02:03.290 --> 00:02:08.250 Vanessa: The topic for today is reverse culture shock, and maybe some people know about what 36 00:02:08.250 --> 00:02:14.049 culture shock is, but how would you describe culture shock? 37 00:02:14.049 --> 00:02:19.818 Cherise: Reverse culture shock is when you go from the country you've been living in, 38 00:02:19.819 --> 00:02:24.669 a foreign country, let's say, South Korea, you come back to your home country, and then 39 00:02:24.669 --> 00:02:30.458 all of a sudden everything feels foreign, as if you're returning to a foreign country 40 00:02:30.459 --> 00:02:31.499 and not your home country. 41 00:02:31.499 --> 00:02:33.870 You don't connect with people. 42 00:02:33.870 --> 00:02:35.389 You feel very different from everything around you. 43 00:02:35.389 --> 00:02:39.688 Vanessa: Yeah, you feel kind of disconnected from what used to be really normal for you. 44 00:02:39.689 --> 00:02:40.689 Cherise: Exactly. 45 00:02:40.689 --> 00:02:43.299 Vanessa: Yeah, and that's a terrible feeling because you feel like, "Oh, I should be going 46 00:02:43.299 --> 00:02:44.299 home. 47 00:02:44.299 --> 00:02:46.469 I should be really comfortable," and then you feel really weird. 48 00:02:46.469 --> 00:02:47.829 Cherise: Exactly. 49 00:02:47.829 --> 00:02:48.849 You don't expect it. 50 00:02:48.849 --> 00:02:53.330 You hear of culture shock, but reverse culture shock is something you're not expecting. 51 00:02:53.330 --> 00:02:55.359 Because you don't prepare for it, it hits you harder. 52 00:02:55.359 --> 00:02:56.950 Vanessa: Yeah, that's a good point. 53 00:02:56.950 --> 00:02:58.410 I don't know. 54 00:02:58.410 --> 00:03:03.529 Have you ever felt culture shock, regular culture shock when you moved to Argentina 55 00:03:03.529 --> 00:03:04.860 or France or Korea? 56 00:03:04.860 --> 00:03:06.169 Did you feel like, "This is a new culture"? 57 00:03:06.169 --> 00:03:12.459 Cherise: I definitely did to an extent, because you're preparing for it. 58 00:03:12.460 --> 00:03:14.169 You know you're going to another country. 59 00:03:14.169 --> 00:03:19.018 You're going to feel discomfort of some sort, and you're expecting to feel it, so I think 60 00:03:19.019 --> 00:03:25.269 you prepare more for this culture shock, but reverse culture shock, you're not ready, you're 61 00:03:25.269 --> 00:03:27.450 not prepared, and it just hits you. 62 00:03:27.450 --> 00:03:30.999 Vanessa: Yeah, especially when you go to another country and you know you're going to live 63 00:03:30.999 --> 00:03:33.430 there for a while, you probably do a lot of preparation. 64 00:03:33.430 --> 00:03:38.810 I know when we moved to Korea, I was watching videos all the time about Korea and what's 65 00:03:38.810 --> 00:03:44.669 life like, some of the language, some culture different stuff, but when we came back to 66 00:03:44.669 --> 00:03:47.040 the US, I didn't think about that at all. 67 00:03:47.040 --> 00:03:48.720 It's just like, "Oh, it's just the US. 68 00:03:48.720 --> 00:03:50.680 It's my home country." 69 00:03:50.680 --> 00:03:52.150 Cherise: Exactly, right. 70 00:03:52.150 --> 00:03:53.170 It's definitely real. 71 00:03:53.170 --> 00:03:56.230 It's definitely there and it's something that you don't think about. 72 00:03:56.230 --> 00:03:59.760 Vanessa: Yeah, especially when you've been living away for a while. 73 00:03:59.760 --> 00:04:03.069 How long were you living away from the US before you came back? 74 00:04:03.069 --> 00:04:04.329 Cherise: Four years. 75 00:04:04.329 --> 00:04:07.329 Vanessa: So Argentina, and then- Cherise: First Argentina for a year, then 76 00:04:07.329 --> 00:04:08.870 South Korea for three years. 77 00:04:08.870 --> 00:04:09.870 Vanessa: Yeah. 78 00:04:09.870 --> 00:04:10.870 That's a long time. 79 00:04:10.870 --> 00:04:11.870 Cherise: It had been a long time. 80 00:04:11.870 --> 00:04:16.819 I hadn't made any trips, just to visit friends or family. 81 00:04:16.819 --> 00:04:21.699 My friends weren't even American, I would say, so I wasn't even getting some culture 82 00:04:21.699 --> 00:04:22.870 from my American friends. 83 00:04:22.870 --> 00:04:24.259 Vanessa: Yeah, you're culturally disconnected. 84 00:04:24.259 --> 00:04:27.720 Cherise: Most of my friends were foreign or from the country I was living in. 85 00:04:27.720 --> 00:04:31.690 Vanessa: Yeah, so when you lived in Argentina and Korea, you didn't really have American 86 00:04:31.690 --> 00:04:32.990 friends so much. 87 00:04:32.990 --> 00:04:33.990 Maybe some. 88 00:04:33.990 --> 00:04:38.360 Cherise: There were a few, but they weren't the majority, or I wasn't even looking to 89 00:04:38.360 --> 00:04:40.729 make those connections with American people. 90 00:04:40.729 --> 00:04:43.291 Vanessa: Yeah, you wanted to make friends that are from the country. 91 00:04:43.291 --> 00:04:45.699 Cherise: I wanted to, yeah, acclimate to the country and to the culture. 92 00:04:45.699 --> 00:04:46.699 Vanessa: Yeah. 93 00:04:46.699 --> 00:04:51.270 I think a lot of people, at least a lot of my students, if they're living in an English-speaking 94 00:04:51.270 --> 00:04:55.819 country, that's a huge question, "How can I meet people who are from the local culture?" 95 00:04:55.819 --> 00:04:57.100 But you did it. 96 00:04:57.100 --> 00:04:58.669 What do you think helped you? 97 00:04:58.669 --> 00:05:02.730 That's kind of off topic, but what do you think helped you to make friends with people 98 00:05:02.730 --> 00:05:03.930 who weren't American? 99 00:05:03.930 --> 00:05:07.339 Was it your jobs or you just learned the language? 100 00:05:07.339 --> 00:05:14.288 Cherise: I think what helped was going to events that weren't for foreigners. 101 00:05:14.289 --> 00:05:19.489 I went to those types of things where you know you're going to meet locals who live 102 00:05:19.490 --> 00:05:25.559 there, and then just connecting with them and then a lot of times, they're very receptive. 103 00:05:25.559 --> 00:05:30.360 They want to be your friend, too, and then that brings you into their friend group. 104 00:05:30.360 --> 00:05:31.360 Vanessa: Yeah. 105 00:05:31.360 --> 00:05:35.120 You mean dances or concerts, or what kind of events did you go to? 106 00:05:35.120 --> 00:05:41.038 Cherise: Yeah, concerts, a lot of concerts in Argentina mainly, and then in South Korea, 107 00:05:41.039 --> 00:05:46.009 I would say it was with my work because I was the only foreigner at the school I worked 108 00:05:46.009 --> 00:05:48.759 at. 109 00:05:48.759 --> 00:05:53.180 Everyone I worked with was a local, was Korean, and that's how I connected with them. 110 00:05:53.180 --> 00:05:57.909 Vanessa: Yeah, so if you wanted to learn more about the culture, they were already around 111 00:05:57.909 --> 00:05:58.909 you. 112 00:05:58.909 --> 00:05:59.909 That's really cool. 113 00:05:59.909 --> 00:06:06.789 I think it takes a lot of guts, though, because when you are the only person who's American 114 00:06:06.789 --> 00:06:12.680 or from your country in an area, maybe you would be more likely to seclude yourself or 115 00:06:12.680 --> 00:06:15.259 be like, "I feel really uncomfortable talking to them. 116 00:06:15.259 --> 00:06:16.259 Do they want to talk to me?" 117 00:06:16.259 --> 00:06:18.260 Cherise: Yeah, but they were very nice. 118 00:06:18.260 --> 00:06:23.819 I never felt that awkward situation where maybe they don't want me here. 119 00:06:23.820 --> 00:06:27.360 I felt very welcomed, and this is in South Korea. 120 00:06:27.360 --> 00:06:29.599 Vanessa: In Argentina, was it different? 121 00:06:29.599 --> 00:06:31.979 Cherise: No, it wasn't different. 122 00:06:31.980 --> 00:06:34.839 This is coming from the experience of working in South Korea. 123 00:06:34.839 --> 00:06:41.209 In Argentina, as well, but definitely in South Korea because I was the only foreign teacher, 124 00:06:41.210 --> 00:06:43.598 but luckily I was with my husband, Toddo. 125 00:06:43.599 --> 00:06:47.560 Vanessa: Yeah, so can you tell us a little bit about Toddo because Cherise's husband 126 00:06:47.560 --> 00:06:54.139 also plays an important role in I think this culture shock or acclimating to a new culture, 127 00:06:54.139 --> 00:06:55.589 so can you tell us about him? 128 00:06:55.589 --> 00:06:59.029 His name's Toddo, so if you hear Toddo, it's not an English word you don't know. 129 00:06:59.029 --> 00:07:00.029 It's just his name. 130 00:07:00.029 --> 00:07:01.029 Cherise: Sure. 131 00:07:01.029 --> 00:07:04.388 He's Colombian and we met in Argentina. 132 00:07:04.389 --> 00:07:09.879 We got married in Argentina and then together we moved to South Korea, so he's been with 133 00:07:09.879 --> 00:07:15.010 me through basically- Vanessa: A lot of changes. 134 00:07:15.010 --> 00:07:19.349 Cherise: ... everywhere, in Argentina, in Korea, and then back to the US right now. 135 00:07:19.349 --> 00:07:24.949 I think he's really helped me acclimate better just because I have somebody who's been with 136 00:07:24.949 --> 00:07:31.270 me through all these experiences, and if no one else connects with me, I know he will 137 00:07:31.270 --> 00:07:35.000 and I know he'll understand what I've been through because he's been through it, too, 138 00:07:35.000 --> 00:07:37.540 and we can kind of hash it out together. 139 00:07:37.540 --> 00:07:38.540 That has helped a lot. 140 00:07:38.540 --> 00:07:41.710 Vanessa: I think that makes a big difference too because I know when I've traveled alone 141 00:07:41.710 --> 00:07:46.889 somewhere and then I came back to the US, no one understood what I'd seen or the cool 142 00:07:46.889 --> 00:07:49.168 experiences, so I felt really lonely. 143 00:07:49.169 --> 00:07:52.740 There's no one I can talk to about this, and if I said, "Oh, I went here and I went there 144 00:07:52.740 --> 00:07:56.540 and this was really cool, and oh, in Germany, it's like this," they'd just be like, "Oh, 145 00:07:56.540 --> 00:07:57.540 that's really cool." 146 00:07:57.540 --> 00:08:01.000 Maybe they thought it was cool, but they just can't get it. 147 00:08:01.000 --> 00:08:02.000 Cherise: Right. 148 00:08:02.000 --> 00:08:03.000 Exactly. 149 00:08:03.000 --> 00:08:06.300 Either I feel like I'm talking too much about Korea and they're like, "Oh shut up, please 150 00:08:06.300 --> 00:08:07.300 stop." 151 00:08:07.300 --> 00:08:08.300 Vanessa: That's hard because it's part of your past. 152 00:08:08.300 --> 00:08:09.720 Cherise: I want someone to tell. 153 00:08:09.720 --> 00:08:16.060 Yeah, I want someone to be able to appreciate or just even listen. 154 00:08:16.060 --> 00:08:20.619 You've been somewhere and you want to be able to share what you've seen, what you've learned. 155 00:08:20.620 --> 00:08:21.620 Vanessa: Yeah. 156 00:08:21.620 --> 00:08:22.620 We're like grandmas. 157 00:08:22.620 --> 00:08:23.620 We want to just tell our stories. 158 00:08:23.620 --> 00:08:24.620 Cherise: Exactly. 159 00:08:24.620 --> 00:08:30.650 It's really helped having Toddo around and being able to connect with him stronger just 160 00:08:30.650 --> 00:08:31.860 because we've been everywhere together. 161 00:08:31.860 --> 00:08:34.240 Vanessa: Yeah, you guys have a closer bond because you've been through a lot. 162 00:08:34.240 --> 00:08:35.740 Cherise: Right, right. 163 00:08:35.740 --> 00:08:37.919 Vanessa: I think there's something ... Oh, what was I going to say? 164 00:08:37.919 --> 00:08:42.828 There's something cool about, oh, you guys' relationship that we haven't mentioned yet, 165 00:08:42.828 --> 00:08:47.369 that part of that reverse culture shock that we'll talk about in just a second is a language 166 00:08:47.370 --> 00:08:52.870 thing, going from not being in an English speaking country to being in the US, where 167 00:08:52.870 --> 00:08:54.388 there's English everywhere. 168 00:08:54.389 --> 00:08:59.790 You speak Spanish, so can you tell us a little bit about your language experience with him? 169 00:08:59.790 --> 00:09:01.750 I think this is so cool. 170 00:09:01.750 --> 00:09:03.300 Cherise: Okay, sure. 171 00:09:03.300 --> 00:09:12.208 Well, before I was going to Argentina because I wanted to learn Spanish, and I met Toddo. 172 00:09:12.208 --> 00:09:15.949 Well, when we met, we didn't speak Spanish immediately together. 173 00:09:15.950 --> 00:09:17.059 We spoke English. 174 00:09:17.059 --> 00:09:23.449 He also speaks perfect English, but then as time grew on I was getting more like, "I really 175 00:09:23.450 --> 00:09:28.899 want to learn Spanish, and let's speak Spanish together," which is actually really hard, 176 00:09:28.899 --> 00:09:32.429 especially with a couple, with a pair to be like, "Okay, we're going to speak only"- 177 00:09:32.429 --> 00:09:34.708 Vanessa: And change languages in the middle of your relationship. 178 00:09:34.708 --> 00:09:39.779 Cherise: Exactly, yeah, but we somehow managed to do that somewhat successfully I would say. 179 00:09:39.780 --> 00:09:43.690 I would speak Spanish almost I would say 90% of the time. 180 00:09:43.690 --> 00:09:44.950 Vanessa: That's awesome. 181 00:09:44.950 --> 00:09:46.950 Cherise: Which is really good. 182 00:09:46.950 --> 00:09:48.940 It's helped me a lot. 183 00:09:48.940 --> 00:09:51.570 It's helped our relationship. 184 00:09:51.570 --> 00:09:52.890 I don't know why. 185 00:09:52.890 --> 00:09:53.890 Vanessa: Yeah. 186 00:09:53.890 --> 00:09:59.470 That's part of his native language though, so maybe for him too, he can connect better. 187 00:09:59.470 --> 00:10:00.470 Cherise: I agree. 188 00:10:00.470 --> 00:10:03.229 I think it has to do something with that. 189 00:10:03.230 --> 00:10:05.880 All around, it's been great, so yeah. 190 00:10:05.880 --> 00:10:12.089 Vanessa: That's cool that you have that connection, but coming back to the US, if you didn't want 191 00:10:12.089 --> 00:10:14.620 to speak English, you could speak Spanish together. 192 00:10:14.620 --> 00:10:15.620 Cherise: Right. 193 00:10:15.620 --> 00:10:16.620 Oh yeah, I didn't mention that. 194 00:10:16.620 --> 00:10:21.940 When we came back to the US, I felt like everyone was listening to my conversations and it was 195 00:10:21.940 --> 00:10:22.940 just uncomfortable. 196 00:10:22.940 --> 00:10:25.708 I didn't want to speak out loud because I thought, "Everyone's listening to me." 197 00:10:25.708 --> 00:10:27.059 Vanessa: Yeah, that's a really weird feeling. 198 00:10:27.059 --> 00:10:31.469 Cherise: We would speak in Spanish everywhere, but then again also, there's a lot of people 199 00:10:31.470 --> 00:10:34.600 who speak Spanish, so it doesn't work all the time. 200 00:10:34.600 --> 00:10:35.640 Vanessa: Kind of an illusion. 201 00:10:35.640 --> 00:10:38.240 Cherise: You feel like you're speaking a secret language. 202 00:10:38.240 --> 00:10:39.240 Vanessa: Yeah. 203 00:10:39.240 --> 00:10:43.940 I feel like that's a good segue to the next thing of when have you experienced reverse 204 00:10:43.940 --> 00:10:46.240 culture shock? 205 00:10:46.240 --> 00:10:52.490 Coming back from the Argentina Korea experience to the US, did you experience any of that? 206 00:10:52.490 --> 00:10:53.490 Cherise: Definitely. 207 00:10:53.490 --> 00:11:02.070 I felt a longing for the Argentinian lifestyle I had when I was in Korea for at least a few 208 00:11:02.070 --> 00:11:06.379 months, like, "Oh, we can just go out to all these restaurants and they have a lot more 209 00:11:06.380 --> 00:11:09.910 varieties of food," so that was hard. 210 00:11:09.910 --> 00:11:13.828 Maybe public transportation, although Korea also has fantastic public transportation. 211 00:11:13.828 --> 00:11:17.439 It just stops at a certain time so you have to know what your- 212 00:11:17.440 --> 00:11:19.670 Vanessa: Oh, Argentinian transportation went longer? 213 00:11:19.670 --> 00:11:22.350 Cherise: It's all night, all day, 24/7. 214 00:11:22.350 --> 00:11:23.350 Vanessa: Whoa. 215 00:11:23.350 --> 00:11:26.000 Cherise: You don't have to think, "Okay, I've got to go home now." 216 00:11:26.000 --> 00:11:27.000 Vanessa: Yeah. 217 00:11:27.000 --> 00:11:30.640 Cherise: There were some things that I missed about Argentinian life that- 218 00:11:30.640 --> 00:11:32.480 Vanessa: Weren't in Korea. 219 00:11:32.480 --> 00:11:37.179 Cherise: Yeah, that didn't exist in Korea, and also, at least in Argentina, I understood 220 00:11:37.179 --> 00:11:40.059 what people were saying and I could communicate. 221 00:11:40.059 --> 00:11:42.679 Even though it wasn't my first language, at least I could communicate with people. 222 00:11:42.679 --> 00:11:46.619 Vanessa: That makes a huge difference, though, connecting with the culture, if you can understand 223 00:11:46.620 --> 00:11:47.620 the language. 224 00:11:47.620 --> 00:11:48.620 Cherise: I know. 225 00:11:48.620 --> 00:11:49.809 It opened a lot of doors. 226 00:11:49.809 --> 00:11:54.809 When I went to Korea, I felt very closed. 227 00:11:54.809 --> 00:11:56.259 I couldn't communicate with anyone. 228 00:11:56.260 --> 00:11:57.708 I didn't really know what was going on. 229 00:11:57.708 --> 00:12:01.299 There was a lot of cultural differences, too. 230 00:12:01.300 --> 00:12:06.078 Eventually, you adapt to any circumstance. 231 00:12:06.078 --> 00:12:10.138 I was able to adapt to living in Korea, and then- 232 00:12:10.139 --> 00:12:13.760 Vanessa: You probably learned some of the language, enough to read or enough to minimally 233 00:12:13.760 --> 00:12:14.760 communicate. 234 00:12:14.760 --> 00:12:19.540 Cherise: Right, I could read, and also, yes, communicate with the students, communicate 235 00:12:19.540 --> 00:12:21.569 with my coworkers. 236 00:12:21.570 --> 00:12:24.279 Sometimes some of them spoke English. 237 00:12:24.279 --> 00:12:30.410 Anyway, when I went from Korea to the US, there was another level of culture shock just 238 00:12:30.410 --> 00:12:36.650 because America was my home country and then all of a sudden, I felt like a foreigner in 239 00:12:36.650 --> 00:12:37.650 my own country. 240 00:12:37.650 --> 00:12:38.650 Vanessa: That's a really weird feeling. 241 00:12:38.650 --> 00:12:43.000 Cherise: I still feel that way to an extent, not as strongly as when I first arrived. 242 00:12:43.000 --> 00:12:44.899 Vanessa: Yeah, and how long have you been back now? 243 00:12:44.899 --> 00:12:45.899 Sorry to interrupt you. 244 00:12:45.899 --> 00:12:49.220 Cherise: I think it's been four months. 245 00:12:49.220 --> 00:12:50.540 Vanessa: Four months. 246 00:12:50.540 --> 00:12:51.860 That's not long. 247 00:12:51.860 --> 00:12:55.010 Cherise: I came in March 1st of 2016. 248 00:12:55.010 --> 00:12:58.970 Vanessa: Yeah, March, April, May, June, yeah, about four months. 249 00:12:58.970 --> 00:12:59.970 It's still fresh. 250 00:12:59.970 --> 00:13:03.510 Cherise: Yeah, it's still fresh, but it was definitely hard the first month. 251 00:13:03.510 --> 00:13:04.510 Vanessa: Yeah. 252 00:13:04.510 --> 00:13:05.510 What did you experience? 253 00:13:05.510 --> 00:13:09.009 Tell us about that first month, if you don't mind rehashing those deep days. 254 00:13:09.009 --> 00:13:10.009 Cherise: Sure. 255 00:13:10.009 --> 00:13:12.309 I'm trying to think of some very good examples. 256 00:13:12.309 --> 00:13:19.649 Well, when I first arrived, I arrived in Jackson Hartfield Airport, which is in Atlanta, which 257 00:13:19.650 --> 00:13:21.410 is one of the biggest airports. 258 00:13:21.410 --> 00:13:28.269 I just remember arriving there, and all of a sudden hearing everyone speaking English 259 00:13:28.269 --> 00:13:34.500 and just the interactions between the workers in the airport and the interactions with them 260 00:13:34.500 --> 00:13:38.990 with me and Toddo, and it just felt so strange. 261 00:13:38.990 --> 00:13:42.569 I don't know how to explain it. 262 00:13:42.569 --> 00:13:43.700 That's the thing about reverse culture shock. 263 00:13:43.700 --> 00:13:45.210 Vanessa: Yeah, it's just a strange feeling. 264 00:13:45.210 --> 00:13:48.899 Cherise: You can't explain it unless you've experienced it, and maybe you can prepare 265 00:13:48.899 --> 00:13:57.929 for it, but some other examples, I remember going to get a cell phone in the US. 266 00:13:57.929 --> 00:14:01.939 I wasn't prepared for so much social interaction. 267 00:14:01.940 --> 00:14:04.819 Vanessa: In English, or just- Cherise: In English. 268 00:14:04.819 --> 00:14:07.089 I think that's what it was. 269 00:14:07.089 --> 00:14:10.890 There's so many people and I kept feeling like people were listening to me or watching 270 00:14:10.890 --> 00:14:16.059 me strangely because in Korea, people would look at me at least, at least notice, "There's 271 00:14:16.059 --> 00:14:17.059 a foreigner." 272 00:14:17.059 --> 00:14:18.059 Vanessa: Because you're not Korean. 273 00:14:18.059 --> 00:14:21.719 Cherise: Right, and so I guess I assumed that people were still doing that, although now 274 00:14:21.720 --> 00:14:30.920 I'm not standing out as a foreigner, but I still felt like these eyes were watching me. 275 00:14:30.920 --> 00:14:33.740 It just was a strange moment of life. 276 00:14:33.740 --> 00:14:34.740 Vanessa: Yeah. 277 00:14:34.740 --> 00:14:36.769 You realize you do look like other people here. 278 00:14:36.769 --> 00:14:37.769 Cherise: Right. 279 00:14:37.769 --> 00:14:40.399 I realized I'm not actually standing out like I was in Korea. 280 00:14:40.399 --> 00:14:41.959 Vanessa: You're not special anymore. 281 00:14:41.959 --> 00:14:42.959 Cherise: Not special. 282 00:14:42.959 --> 00:14:43.959 That's okay. 283 00:14:43.959 --> 00:14:47.370 Vanessa: Even though that's something negative, I think reverse culture shock in general is 284 00:14:47.370 --> 00:14:54.279 something negative, for me, it's nit-picking small things about American culture because 285 00:14:54.279 --> 00:14:58.630 that's our home culture that I didn't nit-pick about before. 286 00:14:58.630 --> 00:15:02.740 A big thing that got me, I don't know why this was a big deal, but for some reason when 287 00:15:02.740 --> 00:15:08.720 I came back from France, living in France for a year, for some reason it really bothered 288 00:15:08.720 --> 00:15:11.660 me that people mowed their lawns. 289 00:15:11.660 --> 00:15:13.740 When I saw people mowing their lawns, it's such a waste. 290 00:15:13.740 --> 00:15:17.220 Why don't you just grow something else or why don't we have something else here? 291 00:15:17.220 --> 00:15:21.579 Why are you mowing a lawn, or why are you using 100 grocery bags? 292 00:15:21.579 --> 00:15:22.940 Just bring your own bag. 293 00:15:22.940 --> 00:15:24.139 Don't use these plastic bags. 294 00:15:24.139 --> 00:15:25.399 Cherise: That's something I don't understand, either. 295 00:15:25.399 --> 00:15:26.399 Vanessa: Yeah. 296 00:15:26.399 --> 00:15:31.599 It's just such a small thing that shouldn't bother me and I feel like I'm generally easygoing 297 00:15:31.600 --> 00:15:36.540 or little things don't bother me like that, but I think it was reverse culture shock, 298 00:15:36.540 --> 00:15:42.279 that comparing it to good things from the culture that I came from and being like, "Why 299 00:15:42.279 --> 00:15:43.660 is my culture like this? 300 00:15:43.660 --> 00:15:45.579 Ugh," so pissed off about it. 301 00:15:45.579 --> 00:15:51.149 Cherise: Right, and you realize, well, they don't know that maybe it's better to bring 302 00:15:51.149 --> 00:15:52.839 your own bag, bring a little cart. 303 00:15:52.839 --> 00:15:55.889 It just isn't part of the American culture at this point. 304 00:15:55.889 --> 00:15:56.889 Vanessa: Yeah. 305 00:15:56.889 --> 00:16:01.860 Cherise: Another thing about grocery stores is there are so many options. 306 00:16:01.860 --> 00:16:07.470 I realized, "This is why we have a problem with obesity maybe." 307 00:16:07.470 --> 00:16:12.330 It could be the fact that you have 100 different types of cereal to choose from, or I don't 308 00:16:12.330 --> 00:16:14.600 know how many types of cereal there are. 309 00:16:14.600 --> 00:16:15.600 Vanessa: Hundreds. 310 00:16:15.600 --> 00:16:17.089 Cherise: Too many. 311 00:16:17.089 --> 00:16:19.089 I want to buy milk. 312 00:16:19.089 --> 00:16:25.129 Why do I have to choose from 20 different types of milk? 313 00:16:25.129 --> 00:16:27.860 Why are there so many options? 314 00:16:27.860 --> 00:16:29.449 There shouldn't ... I don't know. 315 00:16:29.449 --> 00:16:31.440 Vanessa: It's overwhelming. 316 00:16:31.440 --> 00:16:36.209 Today we went to the store to look at coconut oil, and it's a small grocery store and there's 317 00:16:36.209 --> 00:16:39.980 what, like 30 choices, 20 choices? 318 00:16:39.980 --> 00:16:42.290 Cherise: Americans have a lot of options. 319 00:16:42.290 --> 00:16:46.599 A lot of countries don't have that many options to choose from. 320 00:16:46.600 --> 00:16:47.600 Vanessa: Yeah. 321 00:16:47.600 --> 00:16:50.510 In a way, it's neither here nor there, but it's one of those things that when you come 322 00:16:50.510 --> 00:16:55.110 back to your own culture and see that, you can feel overwhelmed. 323 00:16:55.110 --> 00:17:02.129 I think that's a sign of reverse culture shock is being overwhelmed by something you thought 324 00:17:02.129 --> 00:17:05.980 would be normal, like going to the grocery store, something really normal. 325 00:17:05.980 --> 00:17:11.429 Cherise: Something you do all the time, and all of a sudden, it's something that is a 326 00:17:11.429 --> 00:17:12.429 small struggle. 327 00:17:12.429 --> 00:17:13.429 Vanessa: Yeah, yeah. 328 00:17:13.429 --> 00:17:15.179 Cherise: Choosing what you want to eat. 329 00:17:15.179 --> 00:17:16.659 Vanessa: Yeah. 330 00:17:16.659 --> 00:17:20.180 Do you think that reverse culture shock is avoidable? 331 00:17:20.180 --> 00:17:25.000 Is it possible to make it any better than it is? 332 00:17:25.000 --> 00:17:30.000 This could apply to culture shock, too, but like we already said, I think we kind of prepare 333 00:17:30.000 --> 00:17:31.480 for culture shock. 334 00:17:31.480 --> 00:17:35.990 When you go to a foreign country, you prepare more, so reverse culture shock- 335 00:17:35.990 --> 00:17:37.789 Cherise: Right, you're saying, "I don't need to prepare. 336 00:17:37.789 --> 00:17:39.190 I'm going back to my home country." 337 00:17:39.190 --> 00:17:43.440 I think there are certain things you can do to prepare for it. 338 00:17:43.440 --> 00:17:48.299 I don't think you can completely avoid it, but at least know that these things are going 339 00:17:48.299 --> 00:17:53.359 to be issues for me, so what can I do to ease the difficulty? 340 00:17:53.359 --> 00:17:58.808 For example, public transportation in Korea is fantastic. 341 00:17:58.809 --> 00:17:59.809 I never drove a car. 342 00:17:59.809 --> 00:18:01.291 I biked, I took the bus or I took the subway. 343 00:18:01.291 --> 00:18:07.200 I thought for me, it's going to be very important to live somewhere and be able to either walk, 344 00:18:07.200 --> 00:18:09.059 bike, or drive a car minimally. 345 00:18:09.059 --> 00:18:10.059 Vanessa: Yeah. 346 00:18:10.059 --> 00:18:11.059 Oh, that sounds a lot like me. 347 00:18:11.059 --> 00:18:14.350 Cherise: Buying a car, you have to get a car if you're in the US. 348 00:18:14.350 --> 00:18:15.350 It's unavoidable. 349 00:18:15.350 --> 00:18:19.359 Vanessa: Unless you live downtown New York, but that's not going to be many people. 350 00:18:19.359 --> 00:18:20.519 Cherise: Right. 351 00:18:20.520 --> 00:18:22.500 Vanessa: Unless you're a millionaire. 352 00:18:22.500 --> 00:18:29.150 Cherise: I need to realize that this is going to be a problem for me and prepare for it 353 00:18:29.150 --> 00:18:33.600 as best I can, although I'm still going to have to drive, I'm still going to have to 354 00:18:33.600 --> 00:18:35.320 face this difficulty, you could say. 355 00:18:35.320 --> 00:18:36.320 Vanessa: Yeah. 356 00:18:36.320 --> 00:18:39.510 You're still going to have to do something you don't want to do. 357 00:18:39.510 --> 00:18:45.690 Cherise: Right, that I'm not comfortable or used to doing, but it is the only way. 358 00:18:45.690 --> 00:18:48.850 I guess you can prepare for it, but you can't avoid it. 359 00:18:48.850 --> 00:18:49.850 Vanessa: Yeah. 360 00:18:49.850 --> 00:18:52.490 I think for me coming back to the US, I had a lot of fears. 361 00:18:52.490 --> 00:18:58.619 I don't think if they were irrational or not, but I knew that I had a great time living 362 00:18:58.619 --> 00:19:01.299 abroad and in France and in Europe and in Korea. 363 00:19:01.300 --> 00:19:05.340 It was so fun and really enjoyable. 364 00:19:05.340 --> 00:19:08.550 Every day there's something different and new, and then coming back to the US, a big 365 00:19:08.550 --> 00:19:11.690 thing was, is every day just going to be a daily routine? 366 00:19:11.690 --> 00:19:16.470 Am I just going to feel like there's not new surprises around every corner? 367 00:19:16.470 --> 00:19:21.130 When you're abroad, even if you're just traveling or visiting, you find a new market around 368 00:19:21.130 --> 00:19:24.830 the corner or there's someone playing street music or just fun little things. 369 00:19:24.830 --> 00:19:25.919 Cherise: There's always something new, right. 370 00:19:25.919 --> 00:19:29.850 Vanessa: Yeah, so that was a big deal for us is finding somewhere where there is new 371 00:19:29.850 --> 00:19:37.750 stuff going on or there's maybe some diversity or some new cultures or something more than 372 00:19:37.750 --> 00:19:44.850 just a boxed lifestyle where you have franchises and suburban lifestyle. 373 00:19:44.850 --> 00:19:47.270 You've got some city life. 374 00:19:47.270 --> 00:19:48.270 Cherise: Right. 375 00:19:48.270 --> 00:19:52.500 I think that would be very difficult to go from living in Korea to going and living in 376 00:19:52.500 --> 00:19:57.660 suburbia, where you have to drive 20 minutes just to go to the supermarket and there's 377 00:19:57.660 --> 00:20:00.669 nothing really going on around where you're living. 378 00:20:00.670 --> 00:20:01.970 That would be really hard. 379 00:20:01.970 --> 00:20:02.970 Vanessa: Yeah. 380 00:20:02.970 --> 00:20:05.280 I think that's something that was a priority for us, it seems like for you guys, too- 381 00:20:05.280 --> 00:20:06.280 Cherise: Right, definitely. 382 00:20:06.280 --> 00:20:07.280 Vanessa: Live close to the city. 383 00:20:07.280 --> 00:20:08.280 Cherise: Yes. 384 00:20:08.280 --> 00:20:12.779 I think I realized I like living in bigger cities and it's going to be really difficult 385 00:20:12.779 --> 00:20:18.150 to go and live in the countryside or live in a little neighborhood way far away from 386 00:20:18.150 --> 00:20:19.150 everything. 387 00:20:19.150 --> 00:20:20.150 Vanessa: Yeah. 388 00:20:20.150 --> 00:20:22.730 Maybe that's something that could happen in the future. 389 00:20:22.730 --> 00:20:24.220 I don't know. 390 00:20:24.220 --> 00:20:30.710 I would like to have a garden or like to live ... It's maybe more idealistic, but at the 391 00:20:30.710 --> 00:20:34.450 moment, it's not really something that I want, so maybe in the future, but I think that's 392 00:20:34.450 --> 00:20:36.309 an important point, knowing what you want. 393 00:20:36.309 --> 00:20:37.309 Cherise: Right. 394 00:20:37.309 --> 00:20:38.500 Everyone wants something different. 395 00:20:38.500 --> 00:20:43.429 They have their own ... What's important to you is different than what's important to 396 00:20:43.429 --> 00:20:46.590 me, than somebody else, to know what you want. 397 00:20:46.590 --> 00:20:52.559 Vanessa: And taking some time to analyze that, like, "Oh, what do I like about living where 398 00:20:52.559 --> 00:20:53.559 I'm living now?" 399 00:20:53.559 --> 00:21:00.580 In Korea, you really liked transportation, so how can I make that happen in my home country? 400 00:21:00.580 --> 00:21:03.100 For me, I liked having little surprises around every corner. 401 00:21:03.100 --> 00:21:05.049 It's not going to be exactly the same. 402 00:21:05.049 --> 00:21:10.480 It's not a foreign country, but how can I make that happen somehow or find the right 403 00:21:10.480 --> 00:21:11.480 place? 404 00:21:11.480 --> 00:21:12.480 Cherise: Yeah. 405 00:21:12.480 --> 00:21:15.450 Vanessa: At least for Americans, I don't know, maybe it's different for other countries, 406 00:21:15.450 --> 00:21:19.690 but for us, it's not a big deal if you don't go back and live in your hometown. 407 00:21:19.690 --> 00:21:20.859 Cherise: Yeah. 408 00:21:20.859 --> 00:21:22.369 You can go [crosstalk 00:21:22]. 409 00:21:22.369 --> 00:21:23.369 Exactly. 410 00:21:23.369 --> 00:21:29.269 Vanessa: I know some people, at least some people I've talked to who aren't American, 411 00:21:29.270 --> 00:21:34.359 they're really surprised that maybe you've lived in California, like Dan, who's my husband. 412 00:21:34.359 --> 00:21:36.049 Maybe some of you have met him. 413 00:21:36.050 --> 00:21:40.619 Dan lived in California, then Colorado, then Pennsylvania, then he went to school in Tennessee. 414 00:21:40.619 --> 00:21:45.119 That's all over the US, east, west, middle, south, everywhere, and it's totally normal. 415 00:21:45.119 --> 00:21:48.629 Most people have lived in several places. 416 00:21:48.630 --> 00:21:55.119 Even for us, we lived in the north and then the south and we have roots in both places. 417 00:21:55.119 --> 00:21:59.959 Cherise: Yeah, so I feel like it's hard to come back and feel super connected immediately. 418 00:21:59.960 --> 00:22:01.039 That's not going to happen. 419 00:22:01.039 --> 00:22:02.119 Vanessa: Yeah, but that's okay. 420 00:22:02.119 --> 00:22:07.788 I think knowing about it, that's probably the biggest thing to avoid it is being knowledgeable 421 00:22:07.789 --> 00:22:14.130 that you might feel shocked about it and how to avoid that, or just have more patience 422 00:22:14.130 --> 00:22:15.130 with yourself. 423 00:22:15.130 --> 00:22:16.130 Cherise: Yeah. 424 00:22:16.130 --> 00:22:17.130 You know it's going to get better. 425 00:22:17.130 --> 00:22:19.770 You'll feel more connected and integrated as time goes on. 426 00:22:19.770 --> 00:22:24.289 Vanessa: Yeah, or be more patient with your partner. 427 00:22:24.289 --> 00:22:29.400 If I was upset at Dan about something, I'd be like, "Wait, this is probably just because 428 00:22:29.400 --> 00:22:30.750 I'm adjusting. 429 00:22:30.750 --> 00:22:36.750 I shouldn't get frustrated or snippy about little things because I'm adjusting, so sorry 430 00:22:36.750 --> 00:22:38.330 to put this on you." 431 00:22:38.330 --> 00:22:40.470 Cherise: At least you realize it. 432 00:22:40.470 --> 00:22:44.250 Vanessa: Yeah, and you're not perfect, but I think that's something that just being aware 433 00:22:44.250 --> 00:22:45.889 of it is a big deal. 434 00:22:45.890 --> 00:22:48.040 Thanks so much for talking about reverse culture shock. 435 00:22:48.040 --> 00:22:49.040 Cherise: Yeah. 436 00:22:49.040 --> 00:22:50.040 No problem. 437 00:22:50.040 --> 00:22:53.090 Vanessa: Thanks everyone for watching this conversation with Cherise, my sister. 438 00:22:53.090 --> 00:22:58.109 If you'd like to see any more conversations with her in the future, let us know. 439 00:22:58.109 --> 00:22:59.109 Bye. 440 00:22:59.109 --> 00:23:00.109 Cherise: Bye. 441 00:23:00.109 --> 00:23:04.709 Vanessa: Thanks so much for watching this sample conversation lesson for The Fearless 442 00:23:04.710 --> 00:23:06.119 Fluency Club. 443 00:23:06.119 --> 00:23:11.259 I hope you learned something new and if we were speaking too quickly, if there's some 444 00:23:11.260 --> 00:23:16.409 grammar you would like to learn about, some vocabulary or pronunciation you want to improve 445 00:23:16.409 --> 00:23:22.980 for yourself so that you can use it, I recommend watching the other videos in this series, 446 00:23:22.980 --> 00:23:27.260 the sample videos for the course, The Fearless Fluency Club. 447 00:23:27.260 --> 00:23:31.730 If this is a good fit for you, I recommend joining our club, where you can get lesson 448 00:23:31.730 --> 00:23:34.109 sets like this every month. 449 00:23:34.109 --> 00:23:36.729 You can click here to join the club. 450 00:23:36.730 --> 00:23:37.730 Click up here. 451 00:23:37.730 --> 00:23:41.390 There's a little I in the corner, or in the description below. 452 00:23:41.390 --> 00:23:44.340 I'm really glad that you're here with me and I'll see you later. 453 00:23:44.340 --> 00:23:44.630 Bye.