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the idea that we might as the expression

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has it lose touch with our feelings is

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when we reflect on it a highly

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paradoxical one

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how could we lose touch with feelings

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that belong to us where might they go

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and what might be driving their loss

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it seems we're built in such a way that

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an understanding of much of what our

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minds and our bodies go through is in no

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way automatic it is mediated via the

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acceptance and understanding of other

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people we know well enough about some

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things if for example there were to be a

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gaping wound in our leg or we hadn't

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drunk anything for three days we would

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know the truth soon enough

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but many of our sensations are like

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bells that have no solid wire back to

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consciousness they ring at a peculiar

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frequency that isn't picked up by our

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minds when these have been attuned

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incorrectly

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this may for example happen around

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tiredness

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our body may have grown extremely weary

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over many years but consciousness might

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simply not be interested because it's

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been calibrated to respond only to an

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agenda which sets store by the

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fast-paced pursuit of status and money

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or we might feel hugely anxious or in a

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rage with someone but consciousness

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might not care because we have been

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ordered to be confident or extremely

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good

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or there might be a profound sadness

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inside us but the feeling might not earn

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our attention because we're meant to be

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privileged people with nothing to

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complain about

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why do we overlook our feelings like

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this because we generally only notice

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those feelings to which other people

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especially people in our childhoods pay

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attention to

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and conversely ignore those which they

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sideline or belittle if no one

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especially cares that we are worried if

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the grounds for our anger would be

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refused immediately if there's a

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dominant assumption that tiredness is

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for wimps then we'll follow suit and

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disdain bits of ourselves as much as

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others have done

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knowing how to care for ourselves

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depends on having been cared for by

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others

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we listen to ourselves because people

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around us have listened to us

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reconnecting with our lost feelings

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therefore relies on a new expanded sense

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of what it might be legitimate to

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experience we have to be given

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permission to give our attention to as

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much of the sorrow anxiety anger or

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tiredness as may really be locked inside

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us

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put another way we have to be loved

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properly and so allowed to register

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whatever we are actually going through

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without being belittled stonewalled or

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humiliated

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love will allow us to enjoy what should

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always have been our basic privilege

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to know what we feel

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our emotional barometer is a tool that

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can help us to more clearly explain our

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moods

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click the link on screen now to find out

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more

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you