WEBVTT FILE 1 00:00:05.200 --> 00:00:07.919 the idea that we might as the expression 2 00:00:07.919 --> 00:00:10.960 has it lose touch with our feelings is 3 00:00:10.960 --> 00:00:12.880 when we reflect on it a highly 4 00:00:12.880 --> 00:00:14.799 paradoxical one 5 00:00:14.799 --> 00:00:16.880 how could we lose touch with feelings 6 00:00:16.880 --> 00:00:19.760 that belong to us where might they go 7 00:00:19.760 --> 00:00:22.320 and what might be driving their loss 8 00:00:22.320 --> 00:00:24.880 it seems we're built in such a way that 9 00:00:24.880 --> 00:00:26.880 an understanding of much of what our 10 00:00:26.880 --> 00:00:29.519 minds and our bodies go through is in no 11 00:00:29.519 --> 00:00:32.880 way automatic it is mediated via the 12 00:00:32.880 --> 00:00:35.440 acceptance and understanding of other 13 00:00:35.440 --> 00:00:38.000 people we know well enough about some 14 00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:41.040 things if for example there were to be a 15 00:00:41.040 --> 00:00:43.600 gaping wound in our leg or we hadn't 16 00:00:43.600 --> 00:00:46.239 drunk anything for three days we would 17 00:00:46.239 --> 00:00:48.399 know the truth soon enough 18 00:00:48.399 --> 00:00:50.640 but many of our sensations are like 19 00:00:50.640 --> 00:00:53.600 bells that have no solid wire back to 20 00:00:53.600 --> 00:00:56.239 consciousness they ring at a peculiar 21 00:00:56.239 --> 00:00:58.640 frequency that isn't picked up by our 22 00:00:58.640 --> 00:01:01.120 minds when these have been attuned 23 00:01:01.120 --> 00:01:02.960 incorrectly 24 00:01:02.960 --> 00:01:05.760 this may for example happen around 25 00:01:05.760 --> 00:01:07.280 tiredness 26 00:01:07.280 --> 00:01:10.240 our body may have grown extremely weary 27 00:01:10.240 --> 00:01:13.438 over many years but consciousness might 28 00:01:13.438 --> 00:01:15.840 simply not be interested because it's 29 00:01:15.840 --> 00:01:18.560 been calibrated to respond only to an 30 00:01:18.560 --> 00:01:20.959 agenda which sets store by the 31 00:01:20.959 --> 00:01:25.119 fast-paced pursuit of status and money 32 00:01:25.119 --> 00:01:28.240 or we might feel hugely anxious or in a 33 00:01:28.240 --> 00:01:30.880 rage with someone but consciousness 34 00:01:30.880 --> 00:01:33.200 might not care because we have been 35 00:01:33.200 --> 00:01:36.000 ordered to be confident or extremely 36 00:01:36.000 --> 00:01:37.040 good 37 00:01:37.040 --> 00:01:39.280 or there might be a profound sadness 38 00:01:39.280 --> 00:01:42.000 inside us but the feeling might not earn 39 00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:44.319 our attention because we're meant to be 40 00:01:44.319 --> 00:01:46.399 privileged people with nothing to 41 00:01:46.399 --> 00:01:48.079 complain about 42 00:01:48.079 --> 00:01:50.320 why do we overlook our feelings like 43 00:01:50.320 --> 00:01:53.119 this because we generally only notice 44 00:01:53.119 --> 00:01:55.520 those feelings to which other people 45 00:01:55.520 --> 00:01:58.240 especially people in our childhoods pay 46 00:01:58.240 --> 00:02:00.079 attention to 47 00:02:00.079 --> 00:02:02.799 and conversely ignore those which they 48 00:02:02.799 --> 00:02:05.439 sideline or belittle if no one 49 00:02:05.439 --> 00:02:08.000 especially cares that we are worried if 50 00:02:08.000 --> 00:02:10.000 the grounds for our anger would be 51 00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:12.239 refused immediately if there's a 52 00:02:12.239 --> 00:02:14.720 dominant assumption that tiredness is 53 00:02:14.720 --> 00:02:17.280 for wimps then we'll follow suit and 54 00:02:17.280 --> 00:02:19.840 disdain bits of ourselves as much as 55 00:02:19.840 --> 00:02:21.760 others have done 56 00:02:21.760 --> 00:02:24.160 knowing how to care for ourselves 57 00:02:24.160 --> 00:02:26.560 depends on having been cared for by 58 00:02:26.560 --> 00:02:27.599 others 59 00:02:27.599 --> 00:02:30.160 we listen to ourselves because people 60 00:02:30.160 --> 00:02:33.680 around us have listened to us 61 00:02:33.680 --> 00:02:36.160 reconnecting with our lost feelings 62 00:02:36.160 --> 00:02:39.760 therefore relies on a new expanded sense 63 00:02:39.760 --> 00:02:41.760 of what it might be legitimate to 64 00:02:41.760 --> 00:02:44.080 experience we have to be given 65 00:02:44.080 --> 00:02:46.480 permission to give our attention to as 66 00:02:46.480 --> 00:02:49.760 much of the sorrow anxiety anger or 67 00:02:49.760 --> 00:02:52.800 tiredness as may really be locked inside 68 00:02:52.800 --> 00:02:53.599 us 69 00:02:53.599 --> 00:02:55.919 put another way we have to be loved 70 00:02:55.919 --> 00:02:58.560 properly and so allowed to register 71 00:02:58.560 --> 00:03:00.800 whatever we are actually going through 72 00:03:00.800 --> 00:03:03.919 without being belittled stonewalled or 73 00:03:03.919 --> 00:03:05.919 humiliated 74 00:03:05.919 --> 00:03:08.959 love will allow us to enjoy what should 75 00:03:08.959 --> 00:03:12.400 always have been our basic privilege 76 00:03:12.400 --> 00:03:16.919 to know what we feel 77 00:03:18.959 --> 00:03:21.200 our emotional barometer is a tool that 78 00:03:21.200 --> 00:03:23.360 can help us to more clearly explain our 79 00:03:23.360 --> 00:03:24.560 moods 80 00:03:24.560 --> 00:03:26.799 click the link on screen now to find out 81 00:03:26.799 --> 00:03:29.799 more 82 00:03:36.319 --> 00:03:38.400 you